Six Ways to Take a Dating Break
Let’s face it: sometimes the dating well runs dry. What do you do when you know you need a dating break? Do you actually take one? Do you know how to? Do you find yourself: restless, listless, disengaged, unengaging? Conversation is like squeezing water from a stone. Drop. By. Drop.
Meet, Chanel Omari, ex reality bravo-lebrity turned celebrity radio host on iHeartRadio and WBLI 106.1, and let her explain why you may need a dating break and how to do it. According to Omari, a dating break can be the first step to loving yourself for you.
According to Omari, when you’ve binged on dating to the point of nausea, every profile tastes the same to you. Steaming heaps of pictures of him traveling through India. At a friend’s wedding. His love of Michael Chabon. The Macbook pro he can’t live without. The kind of whiskey he likes to drink. You can’t keep stats straight anymore. Who is looking for an intelligent woman with a wicked sense of humor, and who is looking for a partner in crime again? You don’t remember. You just show up at the wine bar and figure out who he is once you get there. This lack of concentration means it’s time for a dating break, and here are six ways to take it:
1. Get Back in Touch With Yourself
While dating, so much of our mental energy is expended thinking about someone else. We are fantasizing about a blissful future together, trying to decipher the subtext of their chosen Emoji, or obsessively checking the phone for a response to a text sent five minutes ago. Instead of outsourcing your feelings of self-worth to someone you just met, think about the attributes that make you special, as well as the things you need to work on. Reinforce a positive self-image to remind yourself that you are deserving of love.
2. Ask Yourself Why You Want to be in a Relationship
Oftentimes, most of the pressure to be in a relationship comes from external forces. Everyone else seems to be in one, so why aren’t you? Are you dating just because you feel that’s what you’re supposed to do? Are you afraid of ending up old and alone with eight cats in a studio apartment? These are highly motivating factors that encourage us to spend far too much time mining date sites in search of a suitor. Sometimes it’s because of our culture pressures, but ultimately, we need to learn how to push this noise away and do what’s best for us because that’s how we will fall in to the right kind of partner for us.
Think about the end goal – do you want to be married and start a family? Are you just looking for someone to have fun with for a while? Figuring this out can help reorient what types of dates you pursue.
3. Reallocate Your Time
If you’re averaging two or three dates a week, that amounts not only to the time spent on the date, but hours in pre-date communication and planning. Think about all that could be accomplished if that time were suddenly free. You could work on a novel, take up painting or learn to play the violin. By enriching your life, you simultaneously become more interesting and appealing to others. Serial dating, on the other hand, is not a hobby that anyone finds attractive.
4. Reallocate Your Money
Dating is expensive. As a straight man, you’re likely on the hook for buying dinner and drinks for both you and your date. As a girl, you’re probably buying new clothes and visiting the waxer more frequently. With this money saved, you could get an HBO subscription or buy Rosetta Stone to teach yourself Italian.
5. Attract More People by Not Dating
By projecting an air of self-contentedness, you may find that suddenly more people ask you out — and in real life, as opposed to virtual reality. The old axiom goes that a relationship happens when you’re least expecting it. This probably occurs because when you remove the fear and sense of urgency driving you to serial date, there is an inner calm that supersedes.
6. Recognize it Might Not be the Right Time
It is entirely possible that you are not in a place in your life for a stable relationship. Maybe you need to focus on your studies or your career. Or maybe you just haven’t had enough time to do the personal work on yourself to build a stable foundation for love. In this case, trying to find a relationship is premature and counterproductive.
If you can be honest about where you are in your life and you take the necessary steps to loving yourself and figuring out what you want, first and foremost, than you will have more room to be open to the right person that is compatible with you and will adore you for who you are.
About Chanel Omari
TV personality and reality star and now, radio host of 106.1 WBLI, a part of IHEARTRADIO MEDIA, Chanel Omari has come a long way in 30 years. After earning her bachelor’s degree in Broadcast Journalism & Communications at Northeastern University, Omari worked in television production, writing, producing and reporting for nearly a decade. Over the last ten years, Chanel worked for industry heavy-hitters including Donny Deutsch, Maury Povich, Bill Cunningham and Anderson Cooper.
Omari has interviewed major celebrities such as Barbara Walters, Andy Cohen, Billy Ray Cyrus, Adam Levine, Lindsay Lohan, Patricia Field, Hugh Jackman, Vanessa Hudgens, Gabrielle Union, Jamie King, Joan Rivers and more. Additionally, Omari has produced shows for ABC, NBC, BRAVO, OXYGEN, LIFETIME, A&E and Warner Brothers.
In 2012, Chanel Omari decided to go in front of the cameras, co-starring in Bravo TV’s hit show “Princesses Long Island,” garnishing over 1.2 million in ratings and viewership. Omari aspires to have her own talk show one day where she can make women feel confident about who they are and what they can achieve despite life’s challenges and obstacles.